When a man betrays you, as a woman, should we choose to forgive or divorce? Today I want to tell you that when you are betrayed, you should evaluate first and then make a decision. Why do I say this? Because if you decide right now, whether to forgive or divorce, it is actually not good for your current marriage, or for your personal growth. Even if you choose to forgive, you find that you can't carry it out, and you will worry that you will be let down again, so this emotion will lead to many hidden crises in your subsequent relationship.

Many people are impulsive when it comes to divorce. After choosing divorce, they find that they are still emotionally attached and feel guilty towards their children. In other words, you will feel regretful. This is a bit like when we accidentally fall on the road and the wound on our leg is very serious.

What is forgiveness like? You don’t disinfect or treat the wound seriously, but just bandage it beautifully, without exploring the deep part of your emotions. And what is divorce like? Just give up treatment, this thing is not suitable for me, this thing makes me uncomfortable, so I just choose not to have it.

So these two decisions are not what you need to do now. What you need to do now is to evaluate your marriage. This evaluation is divided into three parts.

The first is that you must find the real reason why the other person betrayed you.

Is it because he has no feelings for you anymore, he feels tired of being with you, he thinks that the extramarital woman can give him more benefits, or he just wants physical stimulation. Then the reason for the betrayal needs to be discussed in depth by the couple. That is to say, only when you find the reason, you will know which direction your marriage should go next, which aspects of your ability you should improve, and whether your marriage is still necessary to continue.

The second thing to evaluate is how to repair

You see, this cannot be done after the decision to forgive easily. In other words, this man made a mistake, and he must pay the corresponding price for his mistake. Your emotional pain requires the man to take immediate action to compensate, and this compensation can be emotional or material. If the couple does not put repair on the agenda, even if you divorce, you will find that your pain has not been relieved. What is this divorce like? It is like a punishment. You think that you can punish the other party and make the other party unhappy through this channel, but in the end you will find that you still cannot get out of this pain.

The last point is that you must come up with some realistic benefits.

That is to say, you should take measures to protect your man from making the same mistake again next time. For example, you can ask him to transfer all his property to your name, or announce it within the family, so that he will be cautious about such things. These are some common channels. However, I found that many couples who encounter such problems may start by talking about interests, and do not do the first two steps. This will lead to the man choosing to return to the family out of helplessness, and in fact, the core problem of this marriage has not been truly solved.